Hello! I know I was supposed to do this post a few weeks ago, but life has been a tad bit hectic lately, better late than never right? So recently I was able to go visit one of my good friends Harmony in Maui, Hawaii. It was so beautiful there. We got to catch the sunset on the beach every night and play all day, I swear I only wore swimsuits the entire time because we were always doing something with water. Let me tell you, it was the best.
Spending the weekend in Maui and being in a swimsuit a ton made me think a lot about body image and the scars that my body bares. First things first, I’ve had people comment, private message, and text me things like, “Why would you post a picture in a bikini?” “Wow you’re so skinny, do you ever eat.” “Haven’t you gone through the temple, why are you wearing a bikini?” “Oh I bet all the guys are messaging you because you posted a swimsuit pic.” “You’re going to attract the wrong attention.” All I have to say to that, is get a freaking grip and stop passing judgements. Yes I have been through the temple, but wearing a bikini says absolutely nothing about my standards or my character, I’m aware that I am skinny, are you aware that I’ve been exhaustingly trying to gain weight for 6 years? As for attracting guys or the ‘wrong’ attention, I do not wear a bikini to attract guys, that statement is laughable to me because I think to myself ‘If I’m not attracted to how tiny I am, why would a guy be attracted to that.’ and if guys are attracted to me simply because I’m wearing a bikini, they are not the type of guy I would allow myself to date.
All of that aside, I began thinking about how I used to be so ashamed of the 7 scars on my abdomen, they embarrassed me, I was always attempting to cover them up. Until I realized that my scars are something to be proud of, a symbol of the fact that I am a survivor and am lucky to be alive. They make me stand out, they make me different. And sometimes it’s hard to accept that fact. But as I did I gained confidence in wearing a bikini, because it means that I am able to strongly accept the scars that I have and it might even get me a chance to talk about them. On top of my scars, I am skinny. I’ve always been skinny and I probably will always be skinny. Like I said above I do not think it’s the most attractive, but guess what, that doesn’t mean that I can’t be confident in my own skin. It doesn’t mean that I can’t love the body I’ve been given. Wearing a bikini gives me a chance to do that.
I know that bikinis aren’t for everyone, and that’s okay because guess what, you look just as good in tankinis, one pieces even tee shirts and shorts. Own what you’re confident in, don’t force yourself to be in a situation where you aren’t feeling like yourself.
Nowadays people are so concerned with what others think about them. Worrying that they have to keep up a certain image. The world has been overtaken by fitness and nutrition and mom’s that have 5 kids but still have 6 pack abs. And don’t get me wrong I think these are both amazing things, but I don’t think putting the same expectations on ourselves is healthy. Every human being is different, therefore every human being is going to have different bodies and styles. I think instead of attempting to become like someone else, we should focus more on our bodies specifically and what works best for us. We need to work on loving our bodies despite the physical or emotional scars we have been given. Because regardless of what you look like, you are loved, you are unique and you have value.
So stop comparing yourselves to others and passing judgements on people that you might not know the whole story on. Cultivate and create relationships with others instead of assuming things. Learn that you are loved and that you deserve to be confident within your body no matter what shape or size. Be proud of the scars you have.
More to come on my trip to Maui soon!
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