Today I Chose Faith.

Sometimes you make a decision that feels so right, and then the doubts creep in. It’s happened to the best of us. Recently I made a huge and quite terrifying decision. I decided to move into a new city, although I had lived in this city previously, something felt different this time. Something felt right. And to me that was scary.

Moving had been on my mind on and off for the past year and a half but to me it just wasn’t worth all the effort. Finding somewhere to live, paying rent,  having to spend saved money and budget money that was coming in, commuting more than once a week, being away from newly formed friendships to be closer to old friendships, these were all obstacles that kept me from moving sooner. But for some reason I decided one night I was just going to look at the possibilities and almost instantly I found a room in a house that was affordable. Within a day made the decision that I was going to move based on a feeling of calmness, based on a feeling of excitement, based on a feeling of happiness, based on a feeling that this is what is right for me in life at this moment.

So I went with that feeling, I’ve been moved in for about a week now and let me tell you this week has been filled with all sorts of doubts. How could I have made such a rash and spontaneous decision? I didn’t think about the roommate situation, the commute or how my old friends might be busy with their own lives. After a year of being away I was comfortable, and this move has changed all of that. How can I feel excited and uneasy about a situation simultaneously?

Moving in has made me rethink my decision. And in rethinking I realized that I have been questioning why Heavenly Father would let me feel so calm and excited about making a big decision and then soon after the decision was finalized why He would allow doubts and anxiety to settle in. I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes have a hard time recognizing the Spirit. Most of the time I over analyze everything. Asking myself, ‘are these uneasy feeling coming because I made the right decision? Is this Satan? Is this the Spirit? Or is this Heavenly Father testing my faith in Him? Could it be all of the above?’

Yes. It very well could be all of the above.

So I decided to stop over analyzing and act. Today I chose faith. I may be scared and I may not know what comes next but I chose to put faith in my initial decision that something felt right about this move. I am supposed to be here for a reason. I may not know what that reason is or why I felt the need to move here but I do know this, I am choosing to have faith in Heavenly Father’s plan for me. I am choosing to trust in him regardless of the outcome. Instead of allowing so much to overwhelm me, I will simply take it day by day and choose to have faith.

Sometimes Heavenly Father tests our faith in Him. Sometimes Satan is doing everything he can to shake our faith. It is a daily occurrence. And my conclusion to that is: When we choose to have faith in our divine plan, when we choose to walk in faith even when it may not be the easiest thing to do, when we choose to allow our faith to grow step by step, we are being blessed simply for the effort of doing so.

So today I chose faith. 

XOXO

Lex

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