If you’re looking for happiness in a relationship, you’re doing it all wrong.

We’ve all heard it time and time again, “You can’t love someone until you love yourself.” That phrase is annoying, frustrating & even worse, it’s 100% true.

I used to think, ‘I love myself, I know what I have to offer, I’m confident, so why doesn’t a guy love me.’ I’ll tell you why.

I was looking for a relationship to bring me happiness. My daily happiness solely depended upon wether or not a guy currently liked me or wanted to be with me. For the most part I’d wake up waiting to hear from that special someone and when I got a text or a phone call, that’s when my day became good. If I was on the rocks with a guy or I hadn’t heard back after an important text I’d be broken and have zero interesting in doing things that should be fun. I walked around completely devastated, attempting to convince myself and my friends that I was fine and things were great.

Last November something happened that made me realize I was going about it all wrong. I had been let down countless times and finally decided I was sick of being upset about it. Why waste time being upset about something I had zero control over? Why allow someone else’s feelings or lack there of control my emotions? I realized that looking for happiness via a relationship just wasn’t in the cards for me. I needed to be happy because I chose to be happy regardless of the circumstances I may be in. Being in a relationship should never be the only thing you have to be happy about.

Something clicked for me, I stopped putting up with less than I deserve and started living life. Really living life! I made the decision that I don’t need a relationship to make me happy. I became independent. I became happier than I’ve ever been. First dates became just that, a first date. There is no longer there lingering thought, ‘does he like me, I hope he does, I really want this to go somewhere’ Because if a first date leads to something awesome! If not, I am completely content being on my own. I figured out that I can be happy on my own via other things in life and when a relationship comes along with a man who will treat me like I deserve to be treated than it’ll only be a bonus to my life.

I decided that I was not going to let a relationship define my happiness, I would only let a relationship add to my happiness.

Life is about SO much more than wether or not you have a significant other. Yes, a relationship can add happiness to your life but it should not be the sole reason you are happy or even upset for that matter. You deserve the world. You deserve happiness. You shouldn’t depend on someone else to give you YOUR own happiness. It is your choice. It’s as simple as that.

If you’re looking for happiness by means of being in a relationship you’re doing it all wrong. Life has so much to offer and give. Work on yourself, work on your passions, find joy. I can promise that when you do this your eyes will be opened to a whole new world of meaning.

XOXO

Lex