It’s been a little over two weeks since my procedure. The 14 days I endured of multiple injections, ultrasounds and blood work were harder than I could have ever imagined. A majority of the news I was getting was not ideal almost the entire time-I had to do 14 days of injections opposed to the usual 10 days. I documented all of it, all of the thoughts, tears and joyful moments, I may eventually put a video together, but for now I’m choosing to keep it for myself and my future family.

I did however keep a journal of a few words surrounding how I felt overall each day throughout the process that I will share one for each day below.

Day 1: Hopeful

Day 2: Shocked

Day 3: Surreal

Day 4: Defeated

Day 5: Inadequate

Day 6: Overwhelmed

Day 7: Nauseous

Day 8: Alone

Day 9: Anxious

Day 10: Stressed

Day 11: Emotional

Day 12: Bloated/Bruised

Day 13: Hopeful

Day 14: Relieved

Procedure Day: A huge ball of nerves and anxious because there is a chance that this won’t work. I am doing all of this alone, I had nobody with me besides my doctor and anesthesiologist. Overall just praying harder than I ever have before.

Recovery: Not what I was expecting but SO entirely worth it. Worse than the injections portion of this process because all of the medications flared up my endometriosis and it left me with even more bruises. Last week I slept on my bathroom floor twice because I was in so much pain.

During this process I’ve never felt more alone or more single in my life. Going through this process has taught me so much about myself. I learned that I am strong as hell. I learned that I am going to appreciate my future children more than I already do. I learned that some friends won’t be there like you expected them to be, but others will step up in ways you wouldn’t have imagined. I’ve learned more than I thought was possible.

There were moments that I cried myself to sleep, wondering how I was going to endure more days of medications. And there were moments that I was overcome with peace and joy-which I attribute to all of the prayers sent my way. If you read through the list above, this process has been a roller coaster of emotions.

I know a lot of you want to know how everything went, and while I don’t feel comfortable putting my exact numbers out for the whole world to see at this time, I can tell you that it was a success and it worked! I have tears in my eyes thinking about it now, thinking of my future little ones. Going through this just solidified how much my dream of being a mother someday means to me.

My doctor and I have come up with a game plan for both my endometriosis and future cycles. I do need to do 1 more cycle in the next 6 months, in order to do that I need to save another $3,400. Which I know I can do. I did it once, I can do it again. I will work as hard as I need to. I will also need to have another endometriosis surgery ideally as soon as possible. While all of this is scary and a tad unknown, I do know with all my heart that this trial will all be worth it. And I am grateful for it.