This post is probably the scariest one I’ll ever write. But I also feel that it’s something that needs to be shared. I’ve deleted and written this over again 15 times, so bare with me.

I want to begin by saying that I am in no way telling everyone this to receive pity, in fact all of this is something that is hard for me to talk about. I’m putting it all out there because a big reason why I got into blogging is because I wanted to inspire others.

A huge part of me is so terrified of what people think of me when I tell them that I can’t do certain things because I have a medical condition. An even bigger part of me is scared that nobody will ever want a relationship with someone who is a walking medical case. But insecurities set aside, if I can inspire just one person or even learn from one person by opening up about my struggles it will be worth it. I want to inspire others that might relate to me, others that might know someone who has been through similar circumstances. I want to speak up about why I will never live a normal life.

See, I was born premature. Extremely premature. Some of you might know this, but most of you would have no clue just by looking at me. I have had multiple surgeries throughout my lifetime and I shouldn’t be alive for many reasons. But I am. And I don’t want to ever feel insecure or ashamed of the medical conditions I have.

A big part of my blog will be going into detail about some of the medical struggles I have experienced, but for now I will summarize.

For as long as I can remember, going to specialists, hospitals and having surgeries was a normal part of my life. Most of which caused problems when I was younger. But some things will stay with me for my entire life.

Just to name a few:

-10+ Surgeries, some of which saved my life.

-2 autoimmune diseases.

-Cerebral Palsy that affects the right side of my body.

-Learning Disabilities.

-Anxiety.

-Asthma.

-I was diagnosed with a condition that I only had a 1/500+ million chance of having.

-Terrible immune system.

-Multiple Scars on my body.

The list goes on but I’ll spare you because frankly I’m feeling vulnerable listing all the things that are wrong with me. I will never wake up feeling normal. Normal to me is living with the things above. But with that being said, I am lucky to be alive. I am lucky to experience life everyday and actually have quality of life, some others aren’t as lucky.

Currently the only major things that might limit me on a bad day are my Cerebral Palsy, having a bad immune system and stomach issues.

The Cerebral Palsy keeps me from doing anything super physical, and when I push past it, walking becomes hard for the next 3-5 days. Hence why I don’t hike and being located in Utah I always feel dumb when I say that it’s something that I don’t enjoy.

When I get sick my body usually gets hit a little harder than someone else. It just takes me a little longer to get over common colds and I usually am sick the entire winter season. It totally blows, but it could also be a lot worse. Just because I have a cold does not mean that I am dying.

I have had multiple stomach surgeries because I have Acid Reflux, that left me with a giant scar on my abdomen and unable to eat certain foods or physically do more than two sit ups.

Like I said I will go into more detail about each medical condition in later blog posts, until then this is what I have to say:

If you have experienced any of this, you are not alone.

I am alive for a reason.

I have beautiful scars that tell the story of my life.

I define feeling normal differently than someone who has grown up healthy does.

I am not defined by what my body has been through.

But I am who I am because of these struggles.

I have nothing to be ashamed of.

I am a fighter.

All thanks to being born premature.

I am an open book about all of this and ask that if you have questions please do not hesitate to ask me. Also, if you are experiencing something medically and just need a friend, I am here for you.

Here’s to being vulnerable and strong all at once.

XOXO,

Lex