Last week I was talking with a friend that was dealing with the situation of wither or not to walk away from a potential relationship and it got me thinking about some of the relationships that I’ve been in. Although I’ve learned so much throughout dating, there’s one thing I wish I would have learned sooner, knowing when to walk away.

If you know me, you know that I do not, under any circumstances walk away from people. I will always fight for a chance to be in their lives. This is mostly still a true statement, but it got to a point where I was being treated awful by people who could care less about me and I got sick of it. So I decided to make some changes. Every ounce of your heart might ache for something to work out, but sometimes we have to let go of that hope, hold onto strength and realize that sometimes you need to walk away. It’s always that similar cycle of becoming invested in someone only to realize they aren’t doing the same and I decided I wanted to break the cycle. 

There’s a certain confidence that comes with walking away from someone who doesn’t treat you how you deserve to be treated. We live in a world where nobody is old school, theres constant pressures from media and frankly there are a million options available at our fingertips. Here’s when you know you need to walk away: The second you become an option.

Yes, during the first little bit of getting to know someone of course they’ll be talking to other people and going on other dates. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t worth taking on dates. Getting to know somebody takes time and if someone isn’t willing to put in that effort towards spending time with you or even sending you a simple text chances are they aren’t interested. Sometimes life gets in the way (trust me, between 4 jobs and school full time, I know all about it) but if that’s the case how hard is it to say, “Hey I’m super busy this week but I’ll call you next week when things settle down.” It goes both ways and I’ll be the first to admit I’m not always the best at treating people like a priority. It takes a lot for me to be willing to invest time and effort into someone because there have been a lot of occasions when the time and effort just wasn’t ever reciprocated.

There is the element of guilt or ‘what if’ that might linger. Feeling guilty for walking away should only happen when you decided to straight up walk away from someone with no explanation. I’ve done it to others and it’s absolutely gut wrenching. This is where communication comes into play. Now when I choose to walk away from someone I will always do 1 of 2 things: 1. Tell them that I’m not interested in them or 2. Try my best to leave the door open and see if the effort gets put in, if not I let them know that I’ll be moving on and why I’ve decided to do so. The lingering ‘What if’ feeling is the absolute worst. ‘What if this person is the one I’m supposed to end up with….’ ‘What if walking away ruins my chances with them….’ ‘What if I’m making a mistake…’ ‘How I am going to handle letting them go…’

Simply put. Let it be. If you are supposed to be with someone it will all work out in time. Walking away will either make the relationship stronger or it will let you know that you’ve made the correct choice. If it isn’t them there will be someone else who will want you in their life.

Walking away is no easy task, but you deserve somebody’s effort to match your own, your time is valuable, you have so much to offer. When someone isn’t willing to recognize that, no matter how much your heart might ache, you owe it to yourself to walk away. That person will either fight for you or let you go, and you deserve to be fought for.

Details about these photos will be in a separate blog post at a later date!

XOXO-

Lex