Love Languages Over The Years.

I had a discussion with someone not too long ago about love languages and it made me realize that mine have changed drastically over the years. I used to say that I felt the most loved when people get me gifts-I won’t lie I still cry when someone gets me a meaningful gift. But over the years I realized that my love language tended to vary according to certain relationships.

Recently I’ve discovered that the love language that means the absolute most to me is quality time, followed by physical touch. Which if you know me, it’s actually shocking. Because these two love languages were the bottom of the list for me, they’ve always been my bottom two. I’m pretty selfish with my time, I say “You’ll know when I’m interested in you, because I’ll be willing to give you my time.” And it’s very rare. I don’t give my time or change my plans for anyone and typically I’m too independent for my own good, when someone would give me their time it meant nothing to me. It takes A LOT for me to give up my time.

But that’s changed, as I’ve gotten older I’ve come to recognize that when someone is willing to give me their time, even in the smallest of ways it means more to me than anything else. This life is incredibly short. I’ve learned that the hard way from a young age and just since October of 2019, I’ve personally lost 13 family members and friends. This put a lot into perspective. With time going on I’ve realized just how valuable time can be, especially when we could all be choosing to use our time to be doing a billion other things or investing our time in other people. I was really thinking about why all of the sudden my love language changed to quality time and something clicked. The things that make me feel the most loved all somehow relate back to quality time. For example, when someone takes the time to pick up the phone and call or FaceTime me-that goes SO far in my book, when someone takes time out of their day to show up and spend their lunch with me or even takes 30 seconds to send me a text or leave a comment on my social media, follows through on plans they’ve made with me or when someone takes the time out of their day to spend quality time with me and allow me to spend quality time with them, getting to know each other better, going on random road trips or taking the time to travel somewhere fun. It all involves taking time. And it all means more than I thought it ever would.

For the first time in my life I’m actually willing to give more of my time to friendships and relationships willingly. Ready to give my time to people that not only let me invest my time in them but also want to invest their time in me. I took kind of a deep dive into ranking my love languages and why they mean what they do to me. I’m actually a big mix of all of them, but I thought about which were most important to me. It got me excited to learn more about the love languages of those I care about. How do you rank the love languages? Do you think yours change according to your situation? Or that they’ve changed over the years? Send me your love language I want to know!

How my love languages used to rank: