Before I go into too much detail I just wanted to acknowledge that I am not opening up about this for pity or sympathy. I am opening up about this topic because I hope to inspire someone that may be struggling with the same situation. To raise awareness while attempting to stay real and understand for myself the situation I’m facing.

Today I experienced the scariest doctors appointment thus far in my life. I’ve had my fair share of scary appointments, but this one took the cake.

A lot of you have been asking what my surgery was and why I had to get it. I have been diagnosed with a condition called endometriosis. Endometriosis in simple terms is when the tissue inside your uterus makes it outside the uterus and settles in places it isn’t supposed to be. The tissue attaches to surrounding organs and causes ovarian cysts along with scar tissue and more.

It’s something that in my case is hereditary. I have known my whole life that having endometriosis was a possibility for me, so ever since I started my period I’ve taken precautionary measures, aka birth control. This might be TMI, but it’s something I want to bring awareness to because a lot of women suffer unknowingly. There is no cure for endometriosis. But there are treatments that can help to minimize the spreading of the tissue, help cysts to remain small and help the pain.

I haven’t had any issues leading me to seek further treatment, up until this past year because the measures I was taking to reduce my risks seemed to stop working. I started getting burst ovarian cysts more consistently (even on a date once-that was embarrassing), I have been in the ER twice a month, my periods were horrendous, I couldn’t laugh or move certain ways without being in incredible amounts of pain, I was nauseated and had excruciating cramps for 4 months straight, etc. Every person experiences different symptoms and mine were becoming a burden upon my life. I was miserable and I needed to do something about it.

The question I get the most: Does that mean you can’t have kids? The answer is this: At this point, as far as I know I will be able to have children with no issues. But I also know if I let my endometriosis get out of control that answer can change.

Since being diagnosed, I am now facing a new treatment plan because unfortunately the results of my surgery were worse than anticipated. I have a couple of different options for my new treatment and it’s a decision I haven’t quite made yet due to side effects that can occur. I’m in a situation where there are risks with treatment and even bigger risks with not pursing treatment. The decision I make might profoundly affect my future. It’s been an emotional day to say the least.

It could always be worse. I have faith that I will 100% be okay and I will have the ability to create a family when the time comes. It’s the one thing that matters to me most. In fact, all day today I wasn’t emotional because of my diagnosis or the fact that I need to make a choice regarding treatment. I was the most upset because the choice I make is going to potentially impact my future spouse. A spouse that is currently not in the picture. I feel overwhelming pressure, almost guilt, that a decision I make now has the ability to impact someone else. I only want the decisions I’m making now to have a positive impact on my significant other. Making my decision would be easier if I was to that point in my life, but I’m not and so currently this is my trial to bear.

Medically my choices are limited, but choosing to do nothing about it will only make matters worse. For now, I am choosing to have faith. All I have working in my favor at the moment is my faith in Heavenly Father and his promised blessings. I know I need to take the time to pray and build more faith before I go forward with a decision for treatment, which isn’t always easy. Sometimes I feel like the last thing I want to do when facing something like this is pray but as I humble myself, I know prayer is the one thing that will help me to endure.

Thankfully due to some personal spiritual experiences I know without a doubt that I will be okay and I will someday have little ones running around throughout the house. Knowing this is the only comforting thing at the moment. Sometimes trials can be intensely overwhelming and confusing. But as we choose to rely on Heavenly Fathers help, they will become less of a burden as we continue to endure.

I will never stop fighting for life no matter what I may face. I am a survivor. I am choosing to make the hard choices now in order to impact my future positively.

Today endometriosis does not win. Today faith wins.