I’ve attempted to record an update at least 15+ times and have bawled my eyes out hysterically each time. So I’ve decided to write out an update instead. If you aren’t sure why I have to freeze my eggs, start HERE first.

Unfortunately, my deadline has gone from June to as soon as possible. As some of you know I recently had an episode of Kidney Stones-Fun right? While I initially thought that it was just kidney stones, I now have 3 doctors telling me I likely got kidney stones/a kidney infection thanks to my endometriosis. With endometriosis, cells escape to where they aren’t supposed to be, gather, form endometrial cysts and sometimes those cysts burst. A few days before Christmas I had a cyst burst while I was at work, this cyst was close to my kidneys, which then had the ripple affect of causing the stones and infection a few weeks after.

My doctors and specialists are now suggesting that I get a second surgery to go in and clear out all of the endometrial cells ASAP, if they had it their way I would have had surgery last week. This is because we are wanting to get ahead of the cell growth, as time goes on the more the number of cells grow. My last surgery was VERY invasive because I waited so long to do it. We are hoping to avoid an invasive surgery this time around if at all possible. But there’s a kicker, they will likely have to remove one of my ovaries during this process. Which means I am needed to freeze my eggs BEFORE I have the second surgery. The longer I wait the more the cells spread, but I cannot magically raise the remaining $8k I need in order to freeze my eggs on a few days notice. Yet again, facing a double edged sword, but also feeling grateful to have options.

Endometriosis is something that takes a toll on my life daily, but I do my best not to allow it to run my life. With that being said, until I somehow raise enough money to freeze my eggs, it has been controlling my life in a sense that I am doing everything in my power to be proactive regarding my circumstances. I am doing everything that I can mentally, physically and financially capable of to raise the money I need to protect my ability to have children of my own some day.

Some of you know, I am currently working 60+ hour weeks, saving every penny that I can outside of paying bills, cutting down on everything possible, including but not limited to going out to eat with friends or driving long distances to see friends, shopping for groceries as little as possible, picking up as many extra hours and shifts as possible. Some of you know that I am living with constant panic attacks and anxiety surrounding the situation, feeling heavy emotions that include waves of hope and flashes of guilt. Some of you know that I don’t expect anyone else to help me with this, that I don’t qualify for grant programs, that my family isn’t able to support me, that I’m working as hard as I can. The list goes on and on, and it will all be worth it when I reach my goal. But that doesn’t mean that it hasn’t been incredibly difficult.

Frankly, I don’t expect anybody to understand or even care about my situation, because it isn’t your situation to worry about, you aren’t in it, so why would you care? It’s okay if you don’t-please keep any rude comments to yourselves. Opening up about THE most vulnerable situation of my life has been absolutely gut wrenching, but here I am at a crossroads of needing to somehow raise this money fast, incredibly embarrassed, feeling a tad discouraged but also hopeful which is confusing. I know regardless that I will be having a second surgery and that I will eventually freeze my eggs, but I am hoping that by some miracle I will have the opportunity to freeze my eggs before doing the second surgery.

Here I am: Asking for your help. Sharing my story. Hoping to inspire or relate to just one person that might be facing something similar.

I need to raise $8,000 ASAP. This is where all of you reading my story come into play…because two heads are better than one. I’m here asking all of you to send me your ideas of how I can raise the above amount of money quickly! Because I know there have got to be better ideas than my own out there. Do you know of companies I could collaborate with? Do you know of grants or scholarships I might qualify for? Do you know of any other jobs I could do? Are you willing to share my story? Please feel free to email me or DM me on Instagram with any ideas you might have.

Just to clarify a bit, I don’t want to simply ask people to donate, because I don’t feel right doing that. But if you decide to, please know this, I am THANKFUL, there are no words. To those that have continued to support me in any way, I would not be here without you, your support means the absolute world to me. If you’ve shared my story, I am grateful, sharing my story can make a bigger difference than you will ever know. If you are here reading about my story for the first time, thank you for taking your time to read.

I am terrified. I am grateful. Simply Thank You.